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General Category => TV/Movie Reviews => Topic started by: The Bandit on January 02, 2013, 10:23:46 AM

Title: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 02, 2013, 10:23:46 AM
I plan on going to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D this weekend fully expecting it to suck donkey dick.  Still I have to see it in the desperate hope that it might actually be enjoyable.  I am also this way about any Friday the 13th or Alien series movies.  Anyone else this way about certain movies or series?
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: strangelight on January 02, 2013, 11:55:01 PM
i'll watch pretty much anything x-men. i'll hate half of it, but i'll still watch it.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 03, 2013, 09:38:10 AM
Quote from: strangelight on January 02, 2013, 11:55:01 PM
i'll watch pretty much anything x-men. i'll hate half of it, but i'll still watch it.

Are you into comics and superhero movies?
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: whoshotthefrog on January 03, 2013, 11:55:19 AM
anytime Can't Hardly Wait is on I will usually watch it. For some reason the movie makes me laugh a lot and that is a good thing.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: strangelight on January 03, 2013, 02:41:20 PM
Quote from: The Bandit on January 03, 2013, 09:38:10 AM
Quote from: strangelight on January 02, 2013, 11:55:01 PM
i'll watch pretty much anything x-men. i'll hate half of it, but i'll still watch it.

Are you into comics and superhero movies?

sort of. i watched the early 90s x men cartoon growing up and loved it. i'd like to get into comics now, but... meh. i read a few but it doesn't stick.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: bitter on January 03, 2013, 02:49:54 PM
I had a reprint of the initial issue of the original x-men when I was kid. I was like, "why is the Beast a normal dude"?  ;D


The closest thing I have to offer would've been those Twilight movies. I was only vaguely familiar with the books and figured the movies would be watchable since I like fantasy and werewolves and vampires. I saw the first 2 or 3? movies before I realized it wasn't going to get good. Fucking baseball and all kinds of nonsense. The things little girl get off to, I guess???
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 03, 2013, 04:40:45 PM
Quote from: bitter on January 03, 2013, 02:49:54 PM
I had a reprint of the initial issue of the original x-men when I was kid. I was like, "why is the Beast a normal dude"?  ;D


The closest thing I have to offer would've been those Twilight movies. I was only vaguely familiar with the books and figured the movies would be watchable since I like fantasy and werewolves and vampires. I saw the first 2 or 3? movies before I realized it wasn't going to get good. Fucking baseball and all kinds of nonsense. The things little girl get off to, I guess???

I guess, but don't most of the Twilight fans like and think the movies are good?

Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: bitter on January 03, 2013, 06:20:22 PM
I don't care what they think about that garbage. I just sent it back to netflix where it came from.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: gritty_fingers on January 03, 2013, 08:46:12 PM
Quote from: The Bandit on January 02, 2013, 10:23:46 AM
I plan on going to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D this weekend fully expecting it to suck donkey dick.  Still I have to see it in the desperate hope that it might actually be enjoyable.  I am also this way about any Friday the 13th or Alien series movies.  Anyone else this way about certain movies or series?

I loved the first one but I hated the remakes, the sequels, etc. Even the one the one with Dennis Hopper as the Sheriff; that movie sucked balls.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 04, 2013, 09:23:15 AM
Everything post the original TCM was crap.

And I don't watch it every time but I was did watch Cocktail the other night and it was even worse than when I saw it in the theater, if that's possible.  All that pseudo-wisdomy bullshit that Bryan Brown spouts is delightfully horrible. 
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Shocker on January 04, 2013, 11:36:41 AM
I have a soft spot for TCM 2 cause of Stretch.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Lumpy on January 04, 2013, 06:04:25 PM
Texas Chainsaw 2 is pretty awesome, as long as you don't mind mixing some comedy with your horror.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 04, 2013, 07:34:50 PM
I've never been a comedy-horror mixer a la TCM 2. 

Something like Evil Dead 2 I like because I don't consider it real horror (just gross-out or weird-out at times). 

But I've always thought it's so hard to actually generate horror than trying to be funny too just kind of kills it. 

So to speak.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Shocker on January 04, 2013, 10:47:33 PM
Went and saw TCM 3D.  It was more fun than it had any right to be.  Certainly better than the Platinum Dune ones.  3D didn't add much, but I'm not a fan of 3D.  Wife also thought it was better than she expected - her expectations were that she would hate it.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: the unibonger on January 04, 2013, 11:11:33 PM
i think shakes the clown is  hilarious and have have seen it at least 9 times and would watch it again.

leave me alone milkman scum.   

Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Lumpy on January 05, 2013, 11:22:12 AM
Dead/Alive is a good example of horror/comedy. It's good to have some laughs (sometimes) as a way to relieve the tension.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: peoplething on January 06, 2013, 10:24:19 AM
I think the original TCM set out (and was extremely successful) to be a legitimate horror movie. When somebody takes a film that groundbreaking and introduces a bunch of shlock and camp, it goes horribly wrong.

And I love comedy w/ my horror, if it's intended from the beginning. That's why I can dig Evil Dead and the like, the first installment sets the tone of the subsequent movies, even if 2 is a remake of 1 in that case. 

The same is true with Dead/Alive or Bad Taste, going in the audience (me) isn't predisposed to expect anything but absurdly over-the-top splatter comedy. To this end, I can even dig 'Devils Rejects' far more than anything else I've seen from the dude. Some of the face palm moments in that movie are terrific, and that can make for some fun viewing.

After thinking about it a bit, films that are soooooo ahead of their time and/or genre defining (TCM, Jaws etc..) really have no where to go but down. Maybe sometimes a director realizes this and says 'to hell with it, I'm going to run it into the ground with comedy'?
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Jor el on January 06, 2013, 04:44:55 PM

TCM would be perfect if you cut oot everything involving the wheelchair dude.

Shaun of the Dead is the best horror-comedy mix.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Demon Lung on January 06, 2013, 06:08:10 PM
Howard the duck
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: CanookieWookie on January 06, 2013, 07:07:23 PM
Smokey & the Bandit
Cannonball Run
Thin Red Line
Star Wars (4,5,& 6)
..so many
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Demon Lung on January 06, 2013, 07:37:30 PM
The hunt for red October
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: GodShifter on January 06, 2013, 09:06:06 PM
Anything Terence Malick ...

Why? I don't know.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Lumpy on January 07, 2013, 01:05:51 AM
I laughed a bunch during "Ishtar" which was once claimed to be the worst movie ever, etc. (It's a comedy).
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 07, 2013, 09:58:39 AM
How about dark humor in a horror movie?  I thought the John Carpenter Thing had some funny lines.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 07, 2013, 04:13:22 PM
That's just humor which is great (a movie likes JAWS has a lot of humor).  But when it's too much and subtracts from the horror, I get bumped.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 08, 2013, 10:42:15 AM
BTW, anybody notice that Texas Chainsaw 3D was number 1 at the box office?  Will be real interesting to see what direction the sequel goes as:

[spoiler]having the final girl be responsible for Leatherface's care & making him the "good" guy kinda paints it into a corner. [/spoiler]

Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Lumpy on January 08, 2013, 03:00:04 PM
Now that's a real spoiler. ^^^
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Shocker on January 08, 2013, 07:21:24 PM
Yeah, in case anyone is planning on seeing it besides me.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: mortlock on January 16, 2013, 02:45:31 AM
am i the only one here who masturbates to cannibal holocost..fuckin greatest movie ever..
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 16, 2013, 03:49:10 PM
I don't jack off to it, but I like it.

Double bill with Cannibal Ferox.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: GodShifter on January 16, 2013, 05:33:31 PM
Cannibal Holocaust is next up in my Netflix queue. I've seen it probably x 10 times; it's one of my favorites! (I hate the turtle scene, though).
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: bitter on January 16, 2013, 05:47:08 PM
I just IMDB'd that shit. Y'all are fucked up.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 16, 2013, 09:06:22 PM
I watched CH again last week.  Hadn't seen it in 10 years and I remember the ending completely differently.  I didn't think much of it the first time nor this time but for different reasons.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: GodShifter on January 16, 2013, 09:40:01 PM
It's by no means a perfect movie or even fine cinema for that matter, but it has a certain warped charm to it, IMO.

Care to share your thoughts on why you dislike it, bolt?
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 17, 2013, 09:18:08 AM
Certainly before its time with the "lost footage" concept. 
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 17, 2013, 11:04:52 AM
The first time I thought it was cheesy but okay and sorta fun to watch (if only to see if I could "take the horror!") 

The second time I thought it was just too brutal. 

My love for gore has diminished over time and I don't like even feigned human suffering and rape.  The real killing of animals just kind of hurts my heart a little because it makes me miss Minnie.

The really weird thing was the first time I thought it had this long protracted ending which depressed the shit out of me and really kind of haunted me (like when I recently watched Irreversible).   

But the second time it's over in about a minute and seemed somewhat tame.  Weird.  I know I wasn't thinking of some other movie.     
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 17, 2013, 03:45:22 PM
Irreversible is a tough watch and not just because of the camera work.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 17, 2013, 07:25:52 PM
I only made it through the first four scenes.  That was enough for me.  The camerawork, the music, the descent into the gay club, was genuinely overwhelming (though I thought the death-by-fire-extinguisher to be a bit fake-y, I found the mood generated by the setup and those scenes to be uniquely unsettling).


Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on January 18, 2013, 10:26:27 AM
Quote from: boltthrow on January 17, 2013, 07:25:52 PM
I only made it through the first four scenes.  That was enough for me.  The camerawork, the music, the descent into the gay club, was genuinely overwhelming (though I thought the death-by-fire-extinguisher to be a bit fake-y, I found the mood generated by the setup and those scenes to be uniquely unsettling).





You missed the 10 min anal rape of Monica Bellucci then.

And no, it wasn't enjoyable.  

Even to me.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: agent of change on January 20, 2013, 12:55:01 AM
After a few minutes of that camera work I just didn't care anymore to keep watching. Kinda like that movie shot from behind the guy's eyes who is doing weird drugs and walking around Tokyo or something. Zzzzzzzzz...

Edit: btw I can't believe that nobody jumped on Bolt's can't-help-yourself being "Cocktail." Sheesh. Are y'all faltering in your BAMs?
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on January 20, 2013, 09:48:32 AM
This is a kinder, gentler forum. 
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: agent of change on January 20, 2013, 09:52:19 PM
Quote from: boltthrow on January 20, 2013, 09:48:32 AM
This is a kinder, gentler forum. 


Then I shall retreat here more often...

(http://i1272.photobucket.com/albums/y387/agencyofchange/gay_nutcrackercrop_606_zps63c03a53.jpg)
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: deleted account on January 22, 2013, 02:08:20 PM
Untamed Heart.  I cry in several spots during that one every time.  played it on On Demand the other nite thinking I could fall asleep to it like with Uncle Buck or The Brothers McMullen.  nope.  watched to the end at 3am
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: ez on February 05, 2013, 11:08:45 AM
Quote from: boltthrow on January 17, 2013, 11:04:52 AM
My love for gore has diminished over time and I don't like even feigned human suffering and rape.

This. I can't do the whole Cannibal Holocaust/Men Behind The Sun/Philosophy Of A Knife/etc. shit any more. I've had Martyrs for ages now and can't bring myself to watch it, or even other such stuff that is widely considered good cinema, like I Saw The Devil.

That being said,  gore is still totally ok if it's campy and/or humorous.


back on topic, I have a retardedly high tolerance for rom-coms, which is probably my biggest character flaw now that I think about it.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on February 06, 2013, 07:45:26 AM
I Saw The Devil is gory but okay. 

It's the stuff that seems to positively relish in suffering that I don't like.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: peoplething on February 06, 2013, 03:17:05 PM
Quote from: boltthrow on February 06, 2013, 07:45:26 AM


It's the stuff that seems to positively relish in suffering that I don't like.

agreed.

I love me some cheesy schlock monster gore. But the whole 'torture characters for hours of enjoyment' is not fun to watch for me.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on February 06, 2013, 03:26:37 PM
If I wanted that, I'd get re-married.

BAAAAM!!
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Dunedin on February 06, 2013, 04:04:30 PM
Up.

Watched it twice over the Xmas holidays and could watch it again right now.
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: The Bandit on February 06, 2013, 04:35:17 PM
Yeah, but Up is good.  Dug rocks!
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: Dunedin on February 07, 2013, 05:01:37 PM
I can smell you!!
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: mortlock on February 09, 2013, 01:13:18 AM
(http://www.liveforfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Star-Wars-Episode-7-by-Martin-Grimley.jpg)
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: astroman on February 11, 2013, 02:18:27 AM
Steel Magnolias and White Men Can't Jump
Title: Re: Can't help yourself movies
Post by: boltthrow on February 11, 2013, 07:43:05 AM
Steel Magnolias = Straight Men Can't Watch