More band drama, sort of

bass sic · May 01, 2011, 02:59:09 AM

So here's my drama. I work second shift, and weekends. One of my two nights off I get to spend with the wife and kid and the other is reserved for band practice. For shows I have to burn a vacation day, or if I'm out I have to take it off unpaid. It's worked for the last couple years, but with everything including shit paper getting more expensive and the pay cuts I've taken it's becoming obvious to me that I can't gig anymore. these guys are really trying to bump up the frequency of gigs, and I don't want to hold anybody back. Should I just bail out? Knowing that this will probably be my last band? I don't want to be the flat tire holding them back, but I think I can't afford to do it anymore. Any wise inputs?

Ranbat · May 01, 2011, 06:40:47 AM

Probably be your last band? How old are you? Unless you're incapable of playing there's no reason for it to be your last band. If it's killin' you financially and keeping them from upping the frequency of gigs, it's probably better to bow out. If you stay, you might end up as the guy they start blaming for missing opportunities. I take it these aren't paying gigs, if it's hurting you financially too.

spookstrickland · May 01, 2011, 06:44:22 AM

bass sic,

How much do you enjoy the jamming and the giging with this band? If you really dig it then you need to find a way to make it work unless it's really going to put you in the poor house. You will hate yourself in six months if you quit, you will miss it and they will have moved on.

"It's always better to be in a band then to not be in a band"

Wesogkan · May 01, 2011, 09:48:29 AM

Spook's right, a good band can replace years of expensive therapy. I put band before work in my priority list whenever possible. I'd cut down on the bills, make a cheaper grocery list, and get vehicle with better mileage, etc before I thought of quitting a band over $.

I've also found a good band is harder to find than a good job...

Hemisaurus · May 01, 2011, 11:02:09 AM

I would NEVER put a band before my family, especially with a kid.

Your bandmates are people too, talk to them, instead of us, explain the situation. They may agree that they should maybe get another player, they might ask if you can stay on, at least until they can get a replacement or they may be willing to work around you.

One of the bands I used to play in, we had pinch hit players come in and fill for us all the time, when one of us couldn't make a show.

I hope you can sort it out so that your happy, but like Ranbat said, it's never your last band unless your dead. My one suggestion would be don't sell all your gear just yet, I've known people sell their gear for quick cash, planning to buy more later on, and it never happens.

bass sic · May 01, 2011, 12:12:33 PM

I look at it as my last band because the older you get the harder it is to find people of similar interest to jam with. I don't want to end up in a blues cover band, but at 46 and the time it's taking to find a job with normal hours that won't make me lose work over gigging that may be where I end up. I'll never stop playing, but it's getting harder to do in this situation. The 200 bucks I lose taking an unpaid night off to make maybe free beer just isn't balancing out. Plus space rent, mastering fees, merch. It's all adding up fast. I think I'll try to stick it out through the summer somehow and it pans out.

Ranbat · May 01, 2011, 12:43:19 PM

At 44, I understand your situation with finding people to jam/start a band with. There are people out there. Talk to the guys in your band and go from there.

db3jed · May 01, 2011, 01:50:41 PM

Yep talk to your band mates and see where they're at on things.
I'm 47 and understand what you're feeling but seriously, there's no reason to think that it's the end of the road and yes, family comes first.
Actually I'm more worried about finding another job at this age than finding another band.
Good luck bro and keep your head up.

EddieMullet · May 02, 2011, 10:47:06 PM

It's not the end, I'm 40 and play with 2 other guys about the same age who have jobs and kids too. We jam every other weekend and gigs may never happen, but there's guys our ages that go golfing, fishing, hunting and other stuff like that we're just 3 drunk guys in a garage having some beers and smokes and jamming some tunes, instead of doing those other things.

I love music and playing and it, and would never want to give it up.