Places Not To Play

Hemisaurus · May 09, 2011, 02:21:26 PM

This one for LogicalFrank, but unfortunately I can add a couple of names to it too. Go ahead Frank, places not to play, and the reaons why not.

Chovie D · May 09, 2011, 05:37:18 PM

that one place in philly, fuck them.

LogicalFrank · May 09, 2011, 05:39:55 PM

Yeah and that one place in Cincinnati blows too.

RAGER · May 09, 2011, 06:06:52 PM

Oh jesus and that one in Portland. You know the one

Chovie D · May 09, 2011, 06:17:36 PM

My list would be huge, but most of the shitty ones end up closing or changing management faster than you can blacklist em.

Locally, The Comet for me. Others like it tho i guess. some people dont mind having to park and load in four blocks away from the club and playing for $8 and two free Hamms that the bartender wont give you until 9pm even tho you were told to be there at 7pm for a sound check that never happened..but Im not one of those people. again ....its probably changed management since then anyway.

mortlock · May 09, 2011, 10:17:00 PM

$8 and 2 free hamms would be a good night for most of my bands..was that each?? or did you have to split it with the other guys..either way, good gig.

Hemisaurus · May 10, 2011, 09:51:13 AM

Just Bill's in Overland, MO. The sound is awful, except for the house band, that contains the son of the house engineer, which sounded pretty good for Iron Maiden wannabes. They stuck us on stage before doors even opened (so the house band could get a set, they weren't scheduled to play that night) and we were finished 15 minutes after they opened, before the bunch of people that came to see us even got into the place.

hayseed · May 10, 2011, 12:45:33 PM

Smiling Moose, Pittsburgh. Been awhile since i have played there but hear the same shit from others in the area.The number one reason to avoid that place is the sound guy. The sound guy sucks in every respect and somehow is in charge of the shows which only adds to the fact that he sucks. I believe my whole band made $25 total the last time i played there and there is no free drinks. Parking is a bitch and you have to be there 3 hours before the show even starts. That being said i saw Fu Manchu play there and it was great.

Chovie D · May 10, 2011, 02:42:12 PM

"Just Bills" ....is that the name of the club? "hey Bill , what you gonna name your new bar?" ''Fuck it i dunno, "Just Bills" i guess?"

People here on the local craigs list are always posting ads that say "Musicians: Dont play at Bubbas in Pfife!"...really? no shit? a place named Bubbas sucks? who the hell woulda figured that one out in advance?

Its in Pfife? a fucking trailor park community? and it sucked? the audience was hookers and meth heads more intersted in pull tabs and scoring rox than your band? I am shocked, fucking SHOCKED! whats that? they didnt pay your Allman Bros cover band after you brought in 10 people (your girlfriends and their one fat friend each) to their skeezoid club? but you put up 1000's of flyers! you had a smoke machine and everything.! You brough tyour own soundman and lighting rigs, how could they do that to you, who woulda guessed? Bubba himself is a fat greasy asshole who rips off his bands and his customers and tried to hit on your underage daughter? NO! not a person named Bubba, never, that could never happen! shocking!

not in Pfife!

i dont get it....dont be surprised if your gig at "We Rape Bands Buttholes Tavern and Show Palace" in ManBoyRapeville USA leaves you with a swollen anus.
Dont be surprised when "McShittys PBRdome" in Suckatucky, Asshio only serves warm stale PBR
dont be surprised when you play at "Swindlers" and get swindled outn of your pay, etc etc.

Hemisaurus · May 10, 2011, 03:36:29 PM

Hey, not all Bubba's are bad news, there's a local guy round here that legally changed his name to Bubba Bubba Bubba, has it on the sunscreen on his TransAm and everything, even made the papers.

Oops, that's a NIssan, not a Trans-Am

Chovie D · May 10, 2011, 03:54:26 PM

okay that guy may be awesome and all, but would you play his bar and expect to get paid or not to have to drink piss warm hamms all night?

"sorry guys, I had to pay the soundman (who never showed up), the door guy (who sat and drank at the bar all night) , and besides my yugo needs a personalized sunscreeen that says 'bubba bubba bubba" on it so Ive only got $8.50 for you six guys to split. I will make it up to you next time, you guys are great!"

Hemisaurus · May 10, 2011, 03:58:30 PM

Hey, you expect to get paid for this? Round here you only get paid if you a f--n cover band, I made more money runnin' sound for Gzus's other (cover) band, than I ever do in Hemi.

There were a few other places on my shitlist, like the place that made us pay the first $75 of the door to the soundguy, who wouldn't even put my bass in the PA (fuck him, I just turned it up), but thankfully that places, and others like it, have all have since closed.

justinhedrick · May 10, 2011, 04:02:09 PM

hemi, we've played places like that before too. it is hard to find places in the middle of IL that want to hear original music. luckily there are a few, but most want either tight pants indie rock (which we are not) or nu/death/black metal (which we aren't). lose/lose.

Hemisaurus · May 10, 2011, 04:11:20 PM

I think, if they'd been allowed to hear us, the audience might have dug it. Just Bill's gets a good 'heavy rock' type crowd in, it was the fact the sound guy obviously played favourites with his kids band, the reason they were on the bill, was their gig for that night somewhere else had fallen through, and we got the short straw.

If you're in a big enough band to demand your own engineer gets to run sound, and your put on at the right time, it would be an OK place. Most places though the sound engineers are territorial, I'm sorry but just because you had the spare cash to buy all this shit, doesn't mean you are anywhere near qualified to run it. That's the case in way too many places.

justinhedrick · May 10, 2011, 04:16:34 PM

Quote from: Hemisaurus on May 10, 2011, 04:11:20 PM
I'm sorry but just because you had the spare cash to buy all this shit, doesn't mean you are anywhere near qualified to run it. That's the case in way too many places.

perfect. they should make people sign forms that say this before they are allowed to take possession of their behringer mixer, phonic power amps and nady speakers . . .

Hemisaurus · May 10, 2011, 04:28:14 PM

No, this was nice stuff. JBL speakers, Crest power amps and the like. What made it such a shame that it was wasted

Chovie D · May 10, 2011, 06:54:26 PM

I expect to get paid yes. I doesnt need to be alot, but $20 split 4 ways is not acceptable.
I expect to not have to drink goat piss with my measly 2 drink tickets, you will serve me the beer of my choice and honor my drink ticket or I will drink two of your shitty beers wiht those drink tickets , pack up my crap and walk out before the shows starts. (ive done that twice now..it cost me being a band once, no big loss tho they can stay and drink goatpiss if they want, not me).
I expect to arrive at the bar when it is time for work, not four hours before hand for a supposed "soundcheck" only to find your dumbass soundguy didnt show or that you "dont do soundchecks"..wtf? why tell me to come early for one then?
I expect to be able to park near the bar or at least be able to load in from near the bar, not from 5 blocks away cause you have NO parking, fuck you then you shouldnt have bands.

thats about it. i dont think its asking too much. I play a few less gigs than I otherwise would, but those gigs wouldve been completely shitty anyway. Id rather stay at home with my bong, good beers and bigscreen tv then go out, find parking, put wear and tear on my gear and end up paying money to play a shitty gig while having to drink piss for my pay.

shit when I was 21 i would play anywhere for any amount under any circumstances. now, not so much.

Chovie D · May 10, 2011, 07:03:53 PM

speaking of drink tickets, all you genius fucking bar owners can suck my dick for only giving me two per gig.
the laugh is on you.
http://www.amazon.com/Coin-Tainer-Co-Double-Assorted-60670-63765/dp/B002S0OBU0/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1305068541&sr=8-7

hayseed · May 10, 2011, 10:17:01 PM

Quote from: Chovie D on May 10, 2011, 06:54:26 PM
I expect to get paid yes. I doesnt need to be alot, but $20 split 4 ways is not acceptable.
I expect to not have to drink goat piss with my measly 2 drink tickets, you will serve me the beer of my choice and honor my drink ticket or I will drink two of your shitty beers wiht those drink tickets , pack up my crap and walk out before the shows starts. (ive done that twice now..it cost me being a band once, no big loss tho they can stay and drink goatpiss if they want, not me).
I expect to arrive at the bar when it is time for work, not four hours before hand for a supposed "soundcheck" only to find your dumbass soundguy didnt show or that you "dont do soundchecks"..wtf? why tell me to come early for one then?
I expect to be able to park near the bar or at least be able to load in from near the bar, not from 5 blocks away cause you have NO parking, fuck you then you shouldnt have bands.

thats about it. i dont think its asking too much. I play a few less gigs than I otherwise would, but those gigs wouldve been completely shitty anyway. Id rather stay at home with my bong, good beers and bigscreen tv then go out, find parking, put wear and tear on my gear and end up paying money to play a shitty gig while having to drink piss for my pay.

shit when I was 21 i would play anywhere for any amount under any circumstances. now, not so much.

You just described the music scene around here...unless you are a "bar" band. Anyway Chovie I agree with you 100% but I still go out and do it anyway. LAst gig i did (over 1 year ago btw) we were paid nothing, started an hour and a half late because of a sound guy's decision to watch a hockey game, and got zero free drinks! That gets old really fast!

mortlock · May 10, 2011, 10:28:05 PM

i still do it when i can..i just like playing out and it doesnt come along often, so i dont turn much down..

bass sic · May 16, 2011, 05:34:33 PM

The Phantasy night club in Cleveland is a bad one. I've talked to guys who like it OK, but most hate it. No drink specials, street parking and loading in up several flights of stairs blows. Never got paid a dime there either. The first time I played there the sound guy was good, the other three or four times not so much.

Discö Rice · May 16, 2011, 08:13:27 PM

Quote from: Chovie D on May 10, 2011, 06:54:26 PM
I expect to get paid yes. I doesnt need to be alot, but $20 split 4 ways is not acceptable.
I expect to not have to drink goat piss with my measly 2 drink tickets, you will serve me the beer of my choice and honor my drink ticket or I will drink two of your shitty beers wiht those drink tickets , pack up my crap and walk out before the shows starts. (ive done that twice now..it cost me being a band once, no big loss tho they can stay and drink goatpiss if they want, not me).
I expect to arrive at the bar when it is time for work, not four hours before hand for a supposed "soundcheck" only to find your dumbass soundguy didnt show or that you "dont do soundchecks"..wtf? why tell me to come early for one then?
I expect to be able to park near the bar or at least be able to load in from near the bar, not from 5 blocks away cause you have NO parking, fuck you then you shouldnt have bands.

thats about it. i dont think its asking too much. I play a few less gigs than I otherwise would, but those gigs wouldve been completely shitty anyway. Id rather stay at home with my bong, good beers and bigscreen tv then go out, find parking, put wear and tear on my gear and end up paying money to play a shitty gig while having to drink piss for my pay.

shit when I was 21 i would play anywhere for any amount under any circumstances. now, not so much.

Not sure that's worth burning your bandmates over...

RAGER · May 16, 2011, 09:27:19 PM

Quote from: Chovie D on May 10, 2011, 03:54:26 PM

okay that guy may be awesome and all, but would you play his bar and expect to get paid or not to have to drink piss warm hamms all night?

"sorry guys, I had to pay the soundman (who never showed up), the door guy (who sat and drank at the bar all night) , and besides my yugo needs a personalized sunscreeen that says 'bubba bubba bubba" on it so Ive only got $8.50 for you six guys to split. I will make it up to you next time, you guys are great!"

Ok all fun and games aside. that is not a Trans Am or a Yugo. That is a Nissan 350Z in Bubba Blue

mawso · May 16, 2011, 11:53:20 PM

Is there really any such thing as a place "not to play"? I mean, doing the shittiest is all part of the experience, isn't it?

"character building" and all that crap

For a lot of us, it's only the very worst venues that are gonna make us feel like we've gotten somewhere. I mean, I know I feel pretty good that I now play a better class of shithole.

spookstrickland · May 16, 2011, 11:55:40 PM

Quote from: Chovie D on May 10, 2011, 06:54:26 PM
I expect to get paid yes. I doesnt need to be alot, but $20 split 4 ways is not acceptable.
I expect to not have to drink goat piss with my measly 2 drink tickets, you will serve me the beer of my choice and honor my drink ticket or I will drink two of your shitty beers wiht those drink tickets , pack up my crap and walk out before the shows starts. (ive done that twice now..it cost me being a band once, no big loss tho they can stay and drink goatpiss if they want, not me).
I expect to arrive at the bar when it is time for work, not four hours before hand for a supposed "soundcheck" only to find your dumbass soundguy didnt show or that you "dont do soundchecks"..wtf? why tell me to come early for one then?
I expect to be able to park near the bar or at least be able to load in from near the bar, not from 5 blocks away cause you have NO parking, fuck you then you shouldnt have bands.

thats about it. i dont think its asking too much. I play a few less gigs than I otherwise would, but those gigs wouldve been completely shitty anyway. Id rather stay at home with my bong, good beers and bigscreen tv then go out, find parking, put wear and tear on my gear and end up paying money to play a shitty gig while having to drink piss for my pay.

shit when I was 21 i would play anywhere for any amount under any circumstances. now, not so much.

Fucking Hell ya What Chovie D said!