God I suck on stage........

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 11:48:04 AM

I have zero stage presence. I lock up. The weirdest shit happens before I go on stage. I constantly feel like I have to piss. (If it wasnt already taken my screen name would be Pissy) I cant look at the crowd, cant move around, I even get some vertigo.

Any ideas on how to cure this? It sucks because my band rules and I feel I take away being we are only a three piece. Playing live freaks me out.

Oh and we have a show in July with an expected audience of like 700+ people. Thats enough to possibly kill me. Is it possible to die from stage fright?

Spilling the beans in the jam room.

VOLVO))) · February 01, 2011, 11:54:21 AM

I flipped out the first time I played live. Almost to the point where I couldn't even play. I was shaking, my head hurt, my legs felt like jello. I drank a bunch of water, and made it so I HAD to piss, then went on stage. Thinking about how bad I had to piss the whole time totally negated the fact tha t people were watching me play. Between songs, I'd run out from behind the drum kit and dance around for a second, then sit back down to count in the next song. Same night, my bass player didn't look at the crowd once. 100% amplifier eyeballing. It was pretty hilarious. After that, life was kind of easy. Just know you're amongst friends, that enjoy your music. Have fun with your hecklers... they're the best.

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 12:06:21 PM

Ive played out like 20 or 30 times and it never gets any better.

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 12:12:32 PM

FROZEN

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Ranbat · February 01, 2011, 12:38:09 PM

You're there to act a fool, and people are there to see you act a fool. You just gotta get into it like it was band practice. For me a bigger crowd makes it easier because in my head I figure it ups the chances of somebody liking my band. Don't sweat screwing up either, especially if it's in a bar. If they're drunk and you've pulled them in to the groove, they'll never notice

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 12:50:08 PM

I wish I could play drunk or even buzzed. I would be way more relaxed but theres always a 50/50 chance I wont be able to play. Its just so much build up. Gotta be there so fucking early to do a sound check then its like an evil waiting game. Cant just start pounding beers. Zachoff (the bassist singer) got pretty rowdy at a show and started a song on the wrong string and then corrected it by going to another wrong string or note or something. Geoff (our drummer) and me were like WTF did he write a new song and not tell us or what>...
In the end it was funny and something we all chuckle about. But man I would be all shot up from all the bullets I was sweating if that was me. All my bandmates looking at me like ah what are you playing. I have the fear. Its stupid cause nobody in the band gives a shit about screwing up. We do it to have fun and play music. Its not like if we screw up the bar is going to take away our free beer ticket. I hope at least. Shit now I have more to worry about. I screw up no fuckin free beer. I gotta piss just thinking about it.

clockwork green · February 01, 2011, 12:50:53 PM

I focus on everything but the crowd. I start off making sure I'm really locked in with our drummer and bass player. For the first song or more I'm usually sideways or even backwards depending on the stage. If we're going well then I'll start to get into it and have more but still little interaction with the crowd. I'm not some wildly entertaining guy and I figure the best thing I can do for the audience is play well. Our singer does enough on stage to entertain people. I personally don't care if the band I'm watching does nothing as long as they play well and have goodsongs. I'd rather see a band do nothing than act retarded by having rehearsed moves or stupid costumes.

...by the way, I always feel like I have to pee before we go on...it's pretty common.

Discö Rice · February 01, 2011, 01:07:32 PM

Stage fright is a powerful thing that induces primal fear responses. What I can suggest is finding within yourself a mechanism to turn your fear around and use it to threaten those who are threatening to you, like a cornered animal. Make them afraid of you. Become the dominant force.

It's funny - when I play shows I can set up, sit down, warm up in front of people just fine, but right before the set starts I feel all the strength leave my arms and legs for a minute or so, which is quite distressing. Luckily most of the time it all comes back in a monstrous natural meth-like adrenaline surge, making it really easy to lose myself in the performance (in what I suppose is a positive sense, although there is NOTHING positive about my mindset at during a performance).

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 01:32:12 PM

I played this one show a while back that I felt great at. I am playing the same venue again soon. I will have to see how it goes. And if I feel good again I will have to figure out why at that venue I can loosen up. I want to have fun and not be so stressed about playing live. Maybe I need to do some drugs? Maybe some valium to loosen up and some meth to keep me sharp and on my feet?

Chovie D · February 01, 2011, 01:34:58 PM

Some never get over it . Hazelmeyer had it so bad he made a separate performance room in his club and broadcasts the shows on closed circuit tv to the club so he wont have to face an audience. Its why youve never seen a Halo of Flies show. as for pissing thats natural...some people have to take a shit before every show. Try doing that at cbgb's on a friday night...well I guess you cant cb's is gone. Shannon from the COws was a pre show shitter. Dixie Dave is a puker tho thats partly an act and partly the drugs

I think theres a couple approaches I'd try. One is to engage the audience aggresively as Disco Rice suggested. Pick someone and stare em down for the entire set. Wear a crazy grin nonstop. Mouth words without saying em, talk to yourself or your guitar. Theres lots of ways to look nuts and the audience eats that shit up. Butthole surfers dudes were awesome at this

The other way is to completely disengage from the audience Pick a spot on the ceiling and stare at it for the entire show (Jesus Lizards bassist was excellent at this). Turn around and face your amp for the entire show. again you look insane.

theres other more creative ways IM sure I haven tthought of.

Honestly I need three beers before I play, no more and no less. It takes away the edge. but if I drink more than three I will suck badly.

good luck, like i said, for some it never gets better and you have to find a way to cope or not play live.

(Fixed it for ya, Chovie. Hope it's the right video. haha.)

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 01:40:03 PM

Depends on what I ate or when I ate but yeah im like a 2 beer before the show an 1 beer during the show. Any more or any less and it could be a disaster.

tomz. · February 01, 2011, 02:02:34 PM

could go the Hemi route and wear a gasmask

.

Or sunglasses for that matter. Lots of dudes do that, for this very reason.

The image of having to poop at CBGB's on a friday night is now stuck with me, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkkk.

dk419 · February 01, 2011, 02:05:56 PM

Two beers and a shot before the show, and a beer during. A couple of tokes before as well. I also like percs.

Anyway... too fucked up is not good.

My problem is that sometimes my picking hand gets all cramped up, and I can't hold onto the pick anymore... drop it and play with my damn finger sometimes. I don't get it. I can play for hours with no issues at practice, but sometimes halfway through a set my hand cramps up.

I am told that lots of calcium will solve the problem. We shall see at the next show.

VOLVO))) · February 01, 2011, 02:28:57 PM

It's why SunnO))) wear the robes... I've started doing the sunglasses thing, or something completely distracting, like track shorts. hahahaha.

Discö Rice · February 01, 2011, 02:46:11 PM

Quote from: SunnO))) on February 01, 2011, 02:28:57 PM
It's why SunnO))) wear the robes... I've started doing the sunglasses thing, or something completely distracting, like track shorts. hahahaha.

Tiny track shorts would be really entertaining.

Chovie D · February 01, 2011, 02:49:37 PM

thats the one, thanks Sunno. oh yeah sunglasses, i used to do that. I wouldnt recommend it tho, its fucking hard to see in dark clubs and if you have long hair and headbang it tends to get tangled in the glasses. that DOES fucking work tho. no eye contact, or constant eye contact. I really think those are two routes as opposed to every once in a while looking up tentatively at the audience like a scared mouse. theres a million ways to go tho i guess.

Hey man, I got a problem with the site maybe you can pass this along to Sleestak, Sunno. When I type a long post into the entry screen, the last line isnt visible for some reason on the entry screen..anyone else notice this or is it just me? Its really hard to edit the last few lines of a long post for this reason which is why i didnt try an dfix my youtube link

rock

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 03:02:28 PM

yup i need a gimmick to entertain the masses while I secretly piss my pants and play our songs. I feel most comfortable in shorts maybe I should wear shorts even in the dead of winter. Thats fuckin crazy especially if they were tiny track shorts.

tossom · February 01, 2011, 03:46:00 PM

I am also a pisser lol. I played my first show in 6 years, maybe 7 recently and had to pee before I started - was the same back when I played regularly. Our band motto is "4 drink minimum".

Me and Andy, the other guitarist, had about 4 or 5 shots of whisky before hitting the stage - by the end of the first song I had a nice glow and slotted nicely into a groove by middle of 2nd song. This is after my tele shitting the bed, strap button fell out the guitar mid solo in first song... Think the whisky stopped a panic, didnt play rest of song just sang whilst tuning my backup guitar and then was able to go into 2nd song.

The fact it was Haloween and we were all dressed like tits helped too I think. Really looking forward to next gig, my knee op put a total stall on everything sadly.

I remember reading a biography on Buddy Guy, it had a bit in it about when Clapton had him over in the UK to play a run of nights in the Albert Hall. The first night he blew the roof off, went on stage slightly drunk and ran over time - getting Clapton in trouble as a result. Next night he was made to play sober, wasn't half as good. Next night they let him drink before going on and he was back to his best.

Chovie D · February 01, 2011, 03:54:08 PM

Henry Rollins used to wear those fucking super skimpy track shorts in black flag.
I always liked the tighty whiteys look...like Chuck Biscuit or the guy from oxbow

we used to joke that there were certain "rock and roll rules"..you could never be caught eating an ice cream cone, petting a kitten or wearing shorts
Like if you saw a black metal dude eating an ice cream cone it would destroy your image of him.

relax folks, it was all a big joke to us

tossom · February 01, 2011, 04:00:41 PM

Quote from: Chovie D on February 01, 2011, 03:54:08 PM
Henry Rollins used to wear those fucking super skimpy track shorts in black flag.
I always liked the tighty whiteys look...like Chuck Biscuit or the guy from oxbow

we used to joke that there were certain "rock and roll rules"..you could never be caught eating an ice cream cone, petting a kitten or wearing shorts
Like if you saw a black metal dude eating an ice cream cone it would destroy your image of him.

relax folks, it was all a big joke to us

A rock and roll rule is never to run when crossing the road, not cool. Walk, make any traffic wait.

Chovie D · February 01, 2011, 04:13:31 PM

Quote from: tossom on February 01, 2011, 04:00:41 PM
Quote from: Chovie D on February 01, 2011, 03:54:08 PM
Henry Rollins used to wear those fucking super skimpy track shorts in black flag.
I always liked the tighty whiteys look...like Chuck Biscuit or the guy from oxbow

we used to joke that there were certain "rock and roll rules"..you could never be caught eating an ice cream cone, petting a kitten or wearing shorts
Like if you saw a black metal dude eating an ice cream cone it would destroy your image of him.

relax folks, it was all a big joke to us

A rock and roll rule is never to run when crossing the road, not cool. Walk, make any traffic wait.

exactly!...haha

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 04:35:12 PM

Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?

bass sic · February 01, 2011, 04:59:57 PM

Man I could have started this thread word for word. The worst was a few month's ago we played to our biggest crowd yet. At least 200. They were all there to see 9 other bands, all hardcore double bass death metal bands. My only thought the whole set was we dont belong here and there gonna boo us off the stage. It ended up turning out pretty good, but I almost became a puker/shitter/pisser right there on stage. All these years and I still cant loosen up in front of a crowd.

ROWDYBEER · February 01, 2011, 05:17:15 PM

yeah we played a show like that not to long ago the headliner was a ska band. It turned out good though cause the owner liked us and they book killer shows like weedeater and such.
Man I never have had to take a shit at a show but I have definitely thought about how horrible that would be. Fuck most venues dont have stall doors and some dont have stall doors or have bathroom doors or close them. Oh the horror.

Chovie D · February 01, 2011, 05:50:56 PM

cbgbs shitter was right at the bottom of the stairs with no door on the bathroom let alone a stall. The toilet faced out into the hallway and the girls had to pass it to get to the ladies room so basically if you took a dump there it was almost like being on stage. I did shit there once but it was during the day when no one was in the club. I shit in the bushes a couple times at Emissions, and elsewhere. I used to get bad shit attacks after a few days on the road. Used to carry my own rolls of TP. I almost bought one of those camping toilets for the van, it was that bad.

I still get a little nervous before a show sometimes. Not so much nervous but a weird anxious feeling. Its kind of nice actually. Being a class clown I was pretty used to making an ass of myself and not caring too much.

Once I agreed to play bass for this punk band for one show and had never heard em or seen em before. They embarassed me so badly with their crappy stage antics and shitty music that I literaly went and stood behind the big ampeg fridge cab amplifier and crouched down so no one could see me. I think thats the only time Ive ever been really ashamed to be on stage or fearful or whatever. Some really great msuicans and peformers I know still get terrible stage fright tho, so dont be too hard on yourself. It will either get better or you will get better at dealing with it. play more shows, the more crappy venues and hostile crowds you face the better it will get for you (unless yu get fed up..that happens too)