losing band members

[fuzzx]

being kicked out or kicking someone out and what happen and why?

[Danny G]

Being kicked out:

After Southern Gun Culture auditioned for and got hired by a young band. Rock with a B3/Leslie. They were bad ass.

Previous guitarist worked with me on the songs, few rehearsals, 2 weeks worth of gigs, met the singer's mom, was working on new music with them and was building their bassist a Big Muff clone.

Get a call from the bassist out of the blue one day. Thought he was checking on the pedal. No. He called to say they all talked and are letting me go. I was perplexed, as the singer was the leader and I thought things were going fine.

They found a younger kid who played slide.

Went to their band house to pick up my rig (left it there as I Am In The Band). A few awkward but courteous words with keyboard player (everyone else hiding). Went home and drank half a bottle of vodka.

Never been fired before. That was weird and I don't ever want to go through that again.


Firing a band member:

Band I was in full time was having trouble with keys/sax player. One of the most brilliant musicians I've ever played with, but his drinking was becoming a major issue.

2 months before the fact he pulled me aside. Said he realized he has a problem. Was looking into a 30 day treatment. Would be losing his apartment in the process and was worried he'd have a job when he got back

Gave him a hug and said if he did this, he would DEF have a job when he got back. He said don't tell band leader, he'd tell him personally.

Fast forward a month. He never went. Never talked to band leader. Drinking getting worse.

We have several interventions with him. He was receptive at first with diminishing returns after that. Told him no drinks onstage. Had the Merch girl buy them for him, putting her in an awkward position.

Final intervention. Last chance. I looked at him next to me at the table, gave him an I Am About To Beat Your Ass Look and said "I QUIT THE MOTHER TRUCKERS FOR THIS BAND. AND YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP."

Still didn't work.

We fired him during SXSW week. Band leader and I went to his place to tell him in person and drop off his gear. Wasn't home. Downtown between gigs. Band member laid out the deal in two texts. Was writing out a third (you're fired). Before he could hit send on third, guy shoots back saying he is leaving the band to pursue his strengths as a sax player. Band leader and I look at each other for a second or three then just laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. Drop off his gear at apartment office. Guy lives 100 yards from it and upstairs. Part of his rig is a keyboard case the size and weight of an occupied human casket.

Things go from weird to hilariously unfortunate when I got home and told my GF at the time what happened.

No sooner had I finished my tale when get an out of the blue call from a friend.

"Hey man... Uh what happened with (fired band member)?"

Me: perplexed "Uh, what do you mean?"

Him: "Well I was downtown and saw band member at the bar between gigs. He was shithammered (2pm on a Tuesday).  Asked him if he had gigs with y'all coming up for SXSW. He said 'APPARENTLY NOT!' and staggered/stormed out leaving his full drink at the bar. Asked the bartender what happened, he said that band member had it out with band leader and quit."

I laughed sadly and told him what just happened an hour and a half ago.

Yeah. Wow. Like the punchline to a sad joke.


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[Danny G]

Leaving bands:

Have left many over the years for a myriad of reasons. Usually due to differing goals or wanting to do something else. Always amicable, never left them hanging. Still friends with damn near all.

Except one. Country rock covers originals. Good and talented, except band leader was a cock, especially when drinking. Due to his behavior after gigs (disappearing and refusing to answer GF/other singers texts/calls, sometimes without paying me which sucked as this is how I pay my bills).

Was clear that despite their talent and potential, this was a rock n roll fantasy camp for him. To show where his head was at, instead of buying a van to haul the band trailer, he bought a brand new BMW. He ran a successful business and didn't need the money from gigs. I did. Left. Was not happy but kept it amicable. Swore to myself I'd never waste my time on them/him again. Having just come out of a bad relationship, seeing how he treated GF/other singer made me sick.

Fast forward two months. Gig offer from him on a night I had off. In Houston (they are based out of there) for $300. Backline provided. Sure, why not? Just one gig.

Tho had to put gas in my credit card to get out there, gig went great. Until the end. Had ride with him and GF in his shiny BMW. He drove like you'd expect a BMW driver to drive.

End of the night. Everyone dispersing. Last I saw of band leader he was wondering off with some "friends". Went to BMW where GF was already sitting there with him not responding to messages. He had given her explicit instructions not to drive off in his car.

We wait 90 minutes. I tell her that she can do so much better than this asshole. She agreed. We finally left with no word from him.

He also hadn't paid me. I would have to put MORE gas on my credit card to get home.

Finally hear from him as I'm on the road home. They got paid via a check. Which meant cash would have to wait. He should have told me that but didn't.

Text him back my feelings on the matter and the situation he had put me/GF in. Told him that he should pay me out of pocket like a professional band leader would. Can use chase quick pay. If money not in my account by noon next day we would have major problems. And by "major problems" I mean "I was going to put more gas on my credit card to drive back to Houston to beat the shit out of him."

Money was in my account by deadline. Told him to never again call me for gigs. Weeks later he did. I just replied "No."

GF finally left him and is doing much better as a result. Good for her. Fuck that asshole. 


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[VOLVO)))]

I've never been fired. Only ever let bands dissolve.

[neighbor664]

I won't go into too much detail. I had quit a band because the singer (a married woman) and I were getting too close. I wasn't crazy about the music and though the others didn't know the whole story it was affecting the band. Bowing out gracefully seemed like the sensible thing to do. Well, she calls me up right after and says she also quit and wants to put another group together with me. I caved. The result was drawn out and messy and it did not result in any sex or good music.
We don't talk. I think she is on her third husband now.

[RacerX]

Kicked out: ...of a cover band in the '80s for not playing the solos exactly.

Dissolved: ...an earlier cover band because interpersonal issues that came to a head. We all quit the same night.

Then came my 11-year musical hiatus to focus on Cross-Country Mountain Bike Racing. Started playing again in '01.

More Dissolution: ...Devil Riding Shotgun (original band) bassist/frontman/principle songwriter moved outta state; me & Jon formed SANDIA MAN.

A few years later, our original bassist quit because of personal issues/lack of interest.

Jon & I soldiered on as a 2-piece, and then our current bassist Ramon called outta the blue wanting to join. His tone, skills & style were a perfect fit, so we were a trio again.

Unfortunately, before long, Jon soon began experiencing health issues, so we went on hiatus. I felt really bad for poor Ramon, who had only performed with us 2 or 3 times, after learning all our stuff. He & I tried to keep working together, but there was no clear direction & wind had kinda gone out of our sails.

Tried getting in with some new folks, but nothing worked out.

Then, I was asked to join another local band to replace their second guitarist. I joined, but quit after a few months because of excessive drama & backstabbing that had already been going on when I joined & got steadily worse.

After that I just kept woodshedding, practicing & learning—slide, alternate tunings, acoustic, etc., which definitely advanced my mastery of the instrument, honed my chops, & helped keep me sane.

Now SANDIA MAN is back at it: Jon, Ramon & me, the way it should be. We're scoring opening slots, writing new material, and generally enjoying the fuck out of ourselves.

[Pissy]

If I had to deal with any drama I wouldn't be playing in a band. Life's too short and at my level the reward is so small.

[RacerX]

^Bingo.

We do this for FUN.

[Submarine]

you mean you are not doing it for Oceans of Groupies 

[RacerX]

  Nah.

[mortlock]

I was fired one time from a band. it was due to the drummer having jealous issues with me as I also played in another band. there was no conflict of interest and I never missed a show or a practice. he purposely waited until Christmas day to make the phone call, im guessing for 'impact', not that I gave a shit. I answered the call and he said im calling to fire you. I said oh really, do the other guys know you are doing this and he said no. I was and still am very good friends with the guitar player. I said ok no problem. let the other guys know you just fired me. the band never played again and broke up shortly there after.

[liquidsmoke]

Kicked out a bass player after I discovered that he was bad mouthing me for months on a forum(not this one). That sucked because we were friends although things had been getting weirder and weirder. Didn't talk for about a year after that. I assume many of the people on that forum still think I'm an asshole without having heard my side, oh well. I can be difficult to deal with. I can also be easy to deal with. Just as in romantic relationships compatibility is important. If it's not right fix it or make changes, don't let things get bad.

Got an instrumental 2 piece going with the drummer from that band later in the year which was less serious and a lot more fun. He left the state last fall.

Joined a band on bass over the winter for a couple months. They realized they liked the band better as a 2 piece a few weeks after the one show I played with them. Friends of mine, no harm no foul, still a great band.

I'm a late bloomer regarding being in bands that actually get as far as writing full songs and playing out otherwise I'd probably have more stories. In my 20s the bands I tried to start or join always fizzled out after a few jam sessions. I could hardly play or write back then which didn't help.

Not sure if I want to play in live bands anymore but I'm still writing music.

[dogfood]

The drama has been off the charts in the last several band attempts so I'm not even trying. 

[SensoryOverload]

Kinda lost a band member over the year. He was at school 3 hours away and couldn't make time to come down on weekends to jam, rehearse or whatever. At the same time I was busy too so all I could really do was search online for a replacement drummer, but had little luck. A bunch of dudes replied but only a handful were in the same age range, had clips of them playing, and a drum kit or vehicle- all key characteristics of a drummer (and musician in general) or so I thought.

When I tried setting up a jam with a few of them, they all stopped replying. Ended up trying out 1 who was pretty cool, but he showed up and didn't know the songs- plus he lived an hour away so its kinda a stick in the mud right now (albeit I did have a hard time getting the .mp3s to attach to an email).

After all this, the original drummer may come back- he's applying for jobs in the area I live in. Right now its me and a singer. Whats ironic is that I've posted dozens of different ads re-written over and over again on kijiji,craigslist, posters around school... followed up with every person, and on top of that, already have a kit + jamspace and 20 songs on the soundcloud for a potential drummer to listen to.

And I was posting in a city known for its music/band scene here in Canada- and I'm 21, the "wannabe garage rock band" age.

Still scratchin my head  

[Mr. Foxen]

Think am on guitarist number 7 now, counting ones gigged/recorded with. Only had to full on fire one, and it was turbo awkward, he was always too drunk to play at gigs, tried to meet the guy in the pub to have the talk and he cancelled, so I went to meet other mates instead, then he showed up and I did the firing anyway, but with a bunch of people around, and he cried. Then my other mate made fun of him crying because he's kind of a cunt.

Drummer quite bit after New Years eve, we scored a headlining gig in city centre venue, so doing pretty fucking well for a doom drone band. But drummer took too much various drugs to actually be able to play, and it was a fucking shambles. Then we had a shitty opening slot in a tiny venue, and he bitched about playing a shitty slot, told him if you fuck up the good slots, then shitty slots is what you go back to, and he pretty much ragequit.