Wives that kick your music in the nuts!

spookstrickland · January 16, 2011, 02:51:14 AM

Fucking hell is there anything that can tear a guy down like his wife knocking his music. My wife always complains. She'll beg me to play something for her on my guitar then critique the fuck out of it while I'm playing for her about being off pitch or forgeting a lyric. What the fuck! if you ask some one to play for you please just accept what they do!

Then for the last couple of days I've been putting together a mix CD for my friend with all my old bands on it. I find this one song that I think is my masterpiece and I told her that I just love the solo I did on there. That I don't think I could have done it any better. She fucking tells me "well I never thought that was the right solo for that song" WTF! if you don't like it fine but when some one tells you that it's there favorite and you do something like that, that fucking sucks!!!!

She is never invited to my shows again and no way am I ever picking up a guitar and playing her a song again.

maybe I'm being thin skinned but I don't point our her faults like that so I don't think she should be doing it to me.

You guys have any fucked up stories like this?

giantchris · January 16, 2011, 05:49:06 AM

I got a weird girlfriend one, my last girlfriend kept insisting to hear the music I've been working on and I kept playing her stuff and she would just sit there for like 2 minutes saying nothing then go..."Ok" and then she'd nod. Then she'd ask to hear the next one and so on after like thirty minutes of this she just goes. "I like it" and walks off. Was a little weird as some of it was in the vein of music she likes so she should have had some sort of comment but she didn't actually say anything. That relationship was fucked anyways.

Then again one time I mentioned black metal and she told me not to be a racist. Which was hilarious and even funnier because she was black.

Pissy · January 16, 2011, 08:02:51 AM

I would prefer that my lady not care for the music I play. That guarantees that she won't be coming to shows and griping about leaving early, and me having to pay the tab or getting bent out of shape because I'm talking to other people more than her.

bass sic · January 16, 2011, 09:07:22 AM

Quote from: Pissy on January 16, 2011, 08:02:51 AM
I would prefer that my lady not care for the music I play. That guarantees that she won't be coming to shows and griping about leaving early, and me having to pay the tab or getting bent out of shape because I'm talking to other people more than her.

^^^This^^^

tomz. · January 16, 2011, 10:03:52 AM

Yeah, that sucks Spook, gotta find that balance. I don't play much in front of my wife, everyones tastes are different and I don't want to annoy her to often...

Ranbat · January 16, 2011, 10:21:11 AM

I betcha most rock icons have the same problem

I on the other hand don't. My gal is in no way interested in what I do musically. She's supportive when something cool happens like a great show or free studio time. Other than that, she could care less.
My ex thought it would be neat to listen to the old live tape of the band I was in when we met. It was recorded straight out of the board into a cassette deck, so sound quality wasn't the best. About ten minutes into it she says, "I don't remember you guys sounding this bad. You kinda suck." Which, in all honesty wasn't that far from the truth, but it did kind of piss me off.

dk419 · January 16, 2011, 01:45:18 PM

Ok... Ex wife had terrible back pain and could never really stay at my shows. She stopped going, which was kind of cool in a way, but eventually it was more like "you are always playing shows or practicing and have no time for me". I also got the "all you care about is your stupid pedals and amps" thing. She is in another country now and I got the house, car, and cats. Fuck it.

What's worse is... my current (actually ex-girlfriend), who is just finally getting out of my house this week. She is a singer, and a pretty talented one at that. Her music is not bubblegum poppy shit, but it's certainly not what I like. First, I tried to start a project with her,but she was a picky, set in her ways bitch about everything I played for her stuff. She didn't like my interpretations on guitar. She also hates my heavy music, but likes the acoustic stuff I write. She is very opinionated, and it really sucks! Fortunately, I told her to move out. That's good because now I can get a lot more people to come to my shows, and won't have her bitching that I talk to other people besides her, and that I'm out til all hours of the night.

johnny problem · January 16, 2011, 01:56:00 PM

I refuse to play in front of my chicks. I also have a problem of thinking most of my shit sucks anyways.

VOLVO))) · January 16, 2011, 02:05:10 PM

Quote from: johnny problem on January 16, 2011, 01:56:00 PM
I refuse to play in front of my chicks. I also have a problem of thinking most of my shit sucks anyways.

This is my problem. No matter how good it really is, I always feel that it's sub-par. Nothing rubs my dick raw more than a chick saying things just to make you feel better.

hayseed · January 16, 2011, 02:31:34 PM

The double edged sword is this: Every one of us started playing music to help pick up chicks(if you disagree you are a liar). Unfortunately every one of us picked heavy music to play and there are no chicks to be had!

My wife leaves my music alone. No complaints and lots of understanding. I never try to involve her too much because i see it as a kind of "separation of church and state." The music is my life and was long before i got married to her. If you don't want the womans opinion, don't ask! HAHA!

I did have a girl that made me not want to play at all years ago. Man I hated her!

eddiefive10 · January 16, 2011, 02:37:51 PM

my wife always said we were great live but sucked recorded?!?!?!

Danny G · January 16, 2011, 03:02:24 PM

My ex-wife once made a little fun of Sabbath to her cousin in front of me. At the end of the night I let her know I was rather offended by that.

Chovie D · January 16, 2011, 11:24:13 PM

Its not very punk rock to give a fuck what anyone thinks about your guitar solos.

confidence in yourself is really important in music

spookstrickland · January 17, 2011, 01:28:44 AM

I like the Separation of church and state idea, very cool. Problem for me is I don't have to ask for her opinion she just gives it all the time. All I have to do is be playing a piece of music and bam! she'll pop her head in the room with another soul killing critique.

Quote from: hayseed on January 16, 2011, 02:31:34 PM
The double edged sword is this: Every one of us started playing music to help pick up chicks(if you disagree you are a liar). Unfortunately every one of us picked heavy music to play and there are no chicks to be had!

My wife leaves my music alone. No complaints and lots of understanding. I never try to involve her too much because i see it as a kind of "separation of church and state." The music is my life and was long before i got married to her. If you don't want the womans opinion, don't ask! HAHA!

I did have a girl that made me not want to play at all years ago. Man I hated her!

neighbor664 · January 17, 2011, 01:56:23 AM

Quote from: Chovie D on January 16, 2011, 11:24:13 PM
Its not very punk rock to give a fuck what anyone thinks about your guitar solos.

confidence in yourself is really important in music

^This!

peyotepeddler · January 17, 2011, 03:31:35 AM

Quote from: Chovie D on January 16, 2011, 11:24:13 PM
Its not very punk rock to give a fuck what anyone thinks about your guitar solos.

confidence in yourself is really important in music

scrap the punk rock ethics, but agreed with opinions on your craft and work, no matter the medium

if it makes you smile, who gives a flying fuck, the older i get, the more that applies

Lumpy · January 17, 2011, 03:42:40 AM

Quote from: spookstrickland on January 17, 2011, 01:28:44 AM
I like the Separation of church and state idea, very cool. Problem for me is I don't have to ask for her opinion she just gives it all the time. All I have to do is be playing a piece of music and bam! she'll pop her head in the room with another soul killing critique.

1. Try not to take it personally
2. Ask her if she has any constructive criticism too?
3. Tell her "Thank you, that's exactly why I'm practicing"
4. Practice your balls off
5. Maybe get a headphone practice amp

You're supposed to make mistakes during practice, it shows you are trying to play stuff that you can't really play yet. That means you're learning.

spookstrickland · January 17, 2011, 05:04:00 AM

It's not even just when I'm practicing. This happened while I was listening to one of my songs on cd and I had told her a couple of times how I thought that was the best thing I had ever done. she tells me "I never thought that guitar part was right" Fuck me if someone tells you they love something and it's their favorite, for God's sake don't flippantly cut it down like that.

I hear what you guys are saying though. I need to guard my heart more. I used to really guard my heart then I thought I could be truly myself and express my inner self to my wife....I was wrong

Quote from: Lumpy on January 17, 2011, 03:42:40 AM
Quote from: spookstrickland on January 17, 2011, 01:28:44 AM
I like the Separation of church and state idea, very cool. Problem for me is I don't have to ask for her opinion she just gives it all the time. All I have to do is be playing a piece of music and bam! she'll pop her head in the room with another soul killing critique.

1. Try not to take it personally
2. Ask her if she has any constructive criticism too?
3. Tell her "Thank you, that's exactly why I'm practicing"
4. Practice your balls off
5. Maybe get a headphone practice amp

You're supposed to make mistakes during practice, it shows you are trying to play stuff that you can't really play yet. That means you're learning.

Danny G · January 17, 2011, 12:14:47 PM

... but what if she was RIGHT about that guitar part?

Heh

tossom · January 17, 2011, 03:37:48 PM

My wife is pretty supportive of me getting back out playing with a band, and thankfully not entirely interested in what I write or play! Not overly keen on the idea of her coming to see us play if I am honest, even though we're not taking it too seriously and basically just having a laugh. Don't think she has ever heard me sing either, hate my voice enough as it is - worried she'd tell me I'm shite!

My brother tells me when I suck, I can take it from him as he's a way better musician than I thus I really value his opinion. Will get him posting here yet!

spookstrickland · January 17, 2011, 07:16:39 PM

Perhaps but the real malice is in the fact that. It was a piece I recorded over 5 years ago with people I don't play with anymore. There is no way to ever fix it even if there was something wrong with it and knowing how much I loved it I think it was one of the shitiest things she has ever done to me.

Constructive Criticism has its time and place but when the person does not have the ability to fix it nor would they want too if they could and you drop a bomb on them like that...Well that's fucked.

I can take the worst kind of shit from just about everybody and it does not bother me but for some reason criticism from my wife and family is just withering.

Quote from: Danny G on January 17, 2011, 12:14:47 PM
... but what if she was RIGHT about that guitar part?

Heh

Chovie D · January 17, 2011, 07:37:51 PM

Spook, I'm sorry your spouse wasnt more supportive. Maybe she has some insecurities of her own.
I suggest you calmly explain to her how it really hurt your feelings, then forgive her and move on.
I dont play my own music at home and certainly dont ask my wife , or anyone else really, for a critique,
But my spouse has always been nothing but supportive and never ever said anything negative (other than suggesting I sober up a bit).
Maybe she feels threatened by your interests outside the mariage? I no shrink, but your into jesus and stuff right so talk it out , forgive, move forward. dont play her your stuff anymore.

I guess I feel differently about guitar solos than some do. My ego isnt tied up into them. I dont write solos. I just put the horn to my lips and blow, the next time it might will be completely different, but theres never a 'best' solo and theres never a bad one, they are all just kinda random particles in the wind dig? an organic spontaneous expression of that moment, etc.
I dont sweat it. I am free. Its an amazing feeling and its one of the very reasons I play music, to lose my worldly self and cares ..to transcend into that state.
It would suck ballz if i was worried about missing that arpeggio, or that I mixed my dorian with my myxolidian or whatever. i cannot even imagine how confining and not fun that must be. Everyone is different and will play differntly so whatever works for you. I guess I would just suggest not to tie up too much of your self esteem into a guitar solo you recorded years ago for a band that is long broken up etc. move forward

spookstrickland · January 18, 2011, 01:08:03 AM

You are right she does have some concerns about my music and or band replacing her. She seems to think if I get successful that I'm going to leave her for a world tour and fall in love with some groupie. Pretty funny when you think about it but she really believes it could happen.

Quote from: Chovie D on January 17, 2011, 07:37:51 PM
Spook, I'm sorry your spouse wasnt more supportive. Maybe she has some insecurities of her own.
I suggest you calmly explain to her how it really hurt your feelings, then forgive her and move on.
I dont play my own music at home and certainly dont ask my wife , or anyone else really, for a critique,
But my spouse has always been nothing but supportive and never ever said anything negative (other than suggesting I sober up a bit).
Maybe she feels threatened by your interests outside the mariage? I no shrink, but your into jesus and stuff right so talk it out , forgive, move forward. dont play her your stuff anymore.

I guess I feel differently about guitar solos than some do. My ego isnt tied up into them. I dont write solos. I just put the horn to my lips and blow, the next time it might will be completely different, but theres never a 'best' solo and theres never a bad one, they are all just kinda random particles in the wind dig? an organic spontaneous expression of that moment, etc.
I dont sweat it. I am free. Its an amazing feeling and its one of the very reasons I play music, to lose my worldly self and cares ..to transcend into that state.
It would suck ballz if i was worried about missing that arpeggio, or that I mixed my dorian with my myxolidian or whatever. i cannot even imagine how confining and not fun that must be. Everyone is different and will play differntly so whatever works for you. I guess I would just suggest not to tie up too much of your self esteem into a guitar solo you recorded years ago for a band that is long broken up etc. move forward

Hemisaurus · January 18, 2011, 10:17:43 AM

Sit her down to watch Such Hawks, Such Hounds, and skip to the bit where they are all talking about their 'other jobs' where Matt Pike paints houses (after playing with Metallica) and the Lalli's run a restaurant.

If we wanted success, we'd get some plastic surgery and a pitch correction unit.

We are DOOMed to non-entity.

mortlock · January 18, 2011, 12:35:40 PM

spook, if i remember correctly, you have mentioned your wife in this context before..and i told you that you are headed for divorce....beat her to the punch and dump her..my ex-wife was kicked to the curb for similiar reasons..you just dont fuck with a mans music. they never understand that..

my wife was told by someone prior to us getting married.."dont marry a music man"..she should have listened.